It promises, like its predecessor, not to keep any of its promises if elected. Among its early platform planks was to “take away soldiers’ weapons, replace them with paintball guns, and repaint Havana.” The party has also proposed a mandatory national gas barbecue registry, a guaranteed weekly orgasm and the creation of an army of clowns to travel the world promoting peace and laughter.

In short, they’re pretty wonderful. They only ran seven candidates in Quebec, though.

Myself, I am watching the mail daily hoping to find my ballot within so I can proceed with the important business of getting rid of the Republicans! Or try to, anyhoo. I always do, but too many of my fellow countrymen are dunkheads. Billions of dollars and a never-ending war later, I hope they are waking up…

Btw, what is a “neo-Rhino”?